Anal for beginners: the complete buying guide
Starting anal safely comes down to three things: plenty of lube (the anus does not self-lubricate), a toy with a flared base so it can't slip inside, and building up slowly without forcing. Pain is always a stop signal, never use numbing gel.
The golden rules at a glance
- Lubricant is essential: the anus does not self-lubricate.
- For anal play, only use toys with a flared/wide base or a retrieval cord that stays outside the body.
- Choose body-safe, non-porous materials (medical-grade silicone, glass, steel), never jelly.
- Start small and build up gradually; never force anything.
- Pain means stop, not push through. Never use numbing gel.
- If you experience persistent pain, bleeding, or itching: see a doctor.
Why lubricant is non-negotiable
Unlike the vagina, the anus and rectum produce no natural lubrication. Without lube, friction creates micro-tears and raises the risk of infection. Apply a generous amount of lubricant to the toy and around the anus, and reapply as you go.
For beginners, a thick, low-glycerin water-based lubricant is the safest choice: it is compatible with all materials and condoms, and easy to clean up. Silicone lubricant lasts longer and does not dry out, but never use it with a silicone toy: it will degrade the surface. Avoid warming or numbing variants.
Starting small and building safely (which size?)
The inner sphincter does not relax on command: tension and rushing work against you. Take your time, make sure you are aroused, and breathe out slowly as you insert.
Build up step by step:
- 1Start with a (well-lubricated) finger to discover what feels comfortable.
- 2Move on to a small, tapered butt plug with a narrow tip and a clear neck (beginner guideline: around 2–3 cm in diameter).
- 3An anal training set with graduated sizes (S/M/L) lets you progress at your own pace.
Only go up a size once the current one feels effortless and pain-free. Keep the first sessions short (10–15 minutes).
The #1 safety rule: always use a flared base
This is the rule that makes anal toys unique: the rectum can draw an object inward, causing it to slip inside completely. A wide, flared base or a retrieval cord that remains outside the body prevents this from happening.
For this reason, never use a regular (vaginal) dildo without a base, or household objects, anally. A lodged object is a medical emergency with potential for internal injury, do not try to remove it yourself and go to accident and emergency. At Intimico, only buy products labelled as anal that have a clearly defined base.
Body-safe materials vs. materials to avoid
Because the mucous membrane is delicate and intestinal bacteria are involved, material choice carries extra weight here.
- Safe and non-porous (easy to clean): medical/platinum silicone, ABS plastic, stainless steel, borosilicate glass.
- Avoid: jelly, soft PVC, and porous 'realistic' materials, as porous materials harbour bacteria and can leach phthalates.
Look for labels such as phthalate-free, BPA-free, and 100% silicone. Non-porous materials can be cleaned thoroughly; porous ones cannot. If you are using a silicone toy, you must use a water-based lubricant with it.
Hygiene and (optional) anal douching
An anal douche is not required: a thorough shower or bath is usually sufficient. If you do choose to rinse, be gentle: lukewarm water, a small volume, no more than 2–3 times per week, and 1–2 hours beforehand (not immediately before).
Douching too frequently or forcefully strips away the protective mucous layer, leading to irritation and a higher risk of infection. Clean toys after every use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner; non-porous materials can be cleaned more thoroughly. If you share a toy, use a fresh condom over it each time or clean it thoroughly between uses.
Go slowly and stop if it hurts: why numbing gel is a red flag
Done properly, anal play should not hurt. Pain is your body's warning signal. If you feel pain, stop, breathe, apply more lubricant, choose a smaller size, and do not push through.
This is why we advise against numbing ('numbing') gels containing benzocaine or lidocaine: they mask precisely that signal, meaning you cannot feel tears or damage and risk more serious injury. Communication, gradual progression, and lubricant are safer than numbing. If pain, bleeding, or itching persists, see a doctor, as it could be a haemorrhoid, fissure, or infection.
Your beginner shopping list
- A thick, low-glycerin water-based lubricant (universally safe).
- A small tapered butt plug with a flared base, or an anal training set (S/M/L).
- Body-safe material: medical silicone, glass, or steel.
- Optional: an anal douche and a toy cleaner.
- Optional: condoms (especially when sharing or switching between uses).
Not sure which size? Start small with a training set and work up safely at your own pace.
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Three essentials: plenty of thick, low-glycerin water-based lubricant, a toy with a flared base (or simply a well-lubricated finger) made from body-safe material, and time, relaxation, and calm breathing. Optional extras: an anal douche and condoms.
Lubricant is essential, as the anus produces no natural moisture. For beginners, a thick, low-glycerin water-based lubricant is the safest option: it works with all materials and condoms and is easy to clean up. Silicone lubricant lasts longer, but must not be used with silicone toys.
No. Silicone lubricant degrades silicone toys and damages the surface. Always use a water-based lubricant with silicone toys. Silicone lubricant can, however, be used with glass or metal toys.
Start small: a tapered plug with a narrow tip and a clear neck, with a guideline diameter of around 2–3 cm. Only progress to a larger size once the current one feels pain-free and effortless. An anal training set with graduated sizes is ideal for building up at your own pace.
The rectum can draw an object inward, causing it to slip inside completely. A wide, flared base or retrieval cord keeps the toy safely within reach. A lodged object is a medical emergency. Never use toys without a base for anal play.
Yes. A set with graduated sizes lets you build up safely and gradually at your own pace, rather than starting too large. Choose a set in medical silicone where each piece has a flared base, and use plenty of water-based lubricant.
No, it is optional; a thorough shower or bath is usually enough. If you do rinse, use lukewarm water, a small volume, no more than 2–3 times per week, and 1–2 hours beforehand. Douching too frequently or forcefully strips away the protective mucous layer and actually increases the risk of irritation and infection.
No, health experts advise against them. Pain is a warning signal; a numbing gel (lidocaine or benzocaine) masks that signal, meaning you cannot feel tears or damage and risk more serious injury. Safer approach: use lubricant, start smaller, build up gradually, and stop if it hurts.
Safe and non-porous: medical/platinum silicone, ABS plastic, stainless steel, and borosilicate glass, all easy to clean thoroughly. Avoid: jelly, soft PVC, and porous 'realistic' materials, as porous materials harbour bacteria and can leach phthalates. Look for phthalate-free and BPA-free labels.
No, done properly anal should not hurt. Pain means: stop, breathe, apply more lubricant, try a smaller size, and relax more. Never push through pain. Persistent pain, bleeding, or itching: see a doctor (it could be a haemorrhoid, fissure, or infection).
For STI protection, yes. STIs can be transmitted via toys: when sharing, use a fresh condom over the toy each time, or clean it thoroughly between uses. If you switch from anal to vaginal play, always use a fresh condom or clean the toy first to prevent the transfer of intestinal bacteria (which can cause cystitis). Oil weakens latex, so use a water-based or silicone lubricant.
This is general information, not medical advice. If you have symptoms or any doubt (pain, irritation, recurring infections, pregnancy), consult a doctor, midwife or sexologist.