How to choose a dildo: the complete buying guide (2026)

Material is the most important choice. Only non-porous materials are fully body-safe: medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, and stainless steel (SS 316L). Porous materials such as jelly, soft PVC, rubber, and TPE can contain phthalates and trap bacteria in microscopic cavities, even after cleaning. According to Minna Life, these materials are inadvisable for direct body contact; use them only with a protective condom.

Silicone lubricant damages the surface of silicone dildos, making the material soft and porous. Always use a water-based lubricant on silicone. On glass and stainless steel, any type of lubricant is safe, including silicone-based.

Size has two components: length (total length and insertable length) and diameter (thickness at the widest point or shaft). Beginners benefit most from starting small and gradually building up.

• Beginners: a diameter of 2.5 to 3.5 cm and an insertable length of 10 to 14 cm is a comfortable starting point for most people.
• Advanced users: a diameter of 3.5 cm or more and an insertable length of 14 cm or more. Only move to a larger size when the current one is fully pain-free.
• Length vs. diameter: most sensations are located in the first 7 to 10 cm of the vagina and around the anal opening. Extreme length adds little for most people; diameter tends to be more intense and requires more gradual build-up.

As a guideline: increase the diameter by no more than 0.5 cm per step and take your time between steps. Use generous water-based lubricant every session, regardless of size. A dry insertion increases the risk of micro-tears and infection.

Dildos are primarily designed for vaginal use, but many models are also used anally. There is however a crucial safety rule for anal use.

Anal safety rule: only use a dildo anally if it has a wide, flared base or a stop element that is wider than its maximum diameter. The rectum has a suction effect and can draw an object fully inside, creating a medical emergency. This is the same standard that ISSM and StatPearls (NBK557557) apply to all anal toys.

• Vaginal: most standard dildos are suitable. Consider the shape: a slight g-spot curve (tip angled upward) for internal stimulation, or straight for a fuller feeling.
• Anal: choose a model with a clear flared base or a broad T-bar end. Many straight dildos with a suction cup meet this requirement; verify before purchasing.
• Dual-use: some models are designed for both uses. Clean the dildo thoroughly between vaginal and anal use, or use a condom as a barrier layer.

The attachment determines how you use the dildo and with whom.

• Suction cup: most silicone and some glass or steel dildos are available with a flat suction-cup base. This adheres to smooth surfaces (bathroom tile, shower wall, floor) for hands-free use. Note: a suction-cup base is generally a safe anal base as long as the disc is wider than the dildo itself.
• Harness-compatible: dildos with an O-ring attachment shape fit a strap-on harness. Almost all silicone dildos with a flat, wide base are harness-compatible; check the listed O-ring size (most harnesses accept 3.5 to 5 cm). See also the strap-on-kopen guide for more information on harnesses.
• Handle or no base: some dildos feature a pronounced handle for easy steering. Models without an extra base are more suited to vaginal use and are not suitable for anal use.

Realistic dildos mimic the look and texture of a penis. They are often made from TPE (thermoplastic elastomer) or a dual-density construction where a firm core is encased in soft material.

Advantages:
- Softer, more flexible, and for many people more pleasant in feel than hard silicone.
- Dual-density provides a realistic sensation with firm internal support.

Disadvantages and safety:
- TPE is porous: bacteria settle in microscopic cavities and cannot be fully washed out. Minna Life emphasises that porous materials are not sterilisable from a hygiene standpoint.
- Always use a condom when a higher hygiene standard is required.
- TPE is sensitive to silicone lubricant; use water-based only.
- Less durable than silicone, glass, or steel: check regularly for tears or discolouration.

Choose a realistic model deliberately, weighing the aesthetic preference against the lower hygiene standard compared to medical silicone.

Borosilicate glass and stainless steel are excellent for temperature play because they conduct heat and retain temperature well.

Safe procedure (ISSM guidelines):
- Warming: place the dildo in lukewarm water for a few minutes (maximum 40 degrees Celsius, similar to a warm bath). Always test the temperature on the inside of your wrist before use.
- Cooling: place the dildo briefly in cold water with a few ice cubes or in the refrigerator. Never apply direct ice or frozen material to mucous membranes.
- Never use: boiling water, a microwave, an oven, direct freezer contact, or rapid temperature changes. Borosilicate glass is shock-resistant but not unbreakable under extreme stress.
- Check glass dildos before every use for hairline cracks or chipping. Never use a damaged glass dildo.

Temperature play can feel particularly intense; build up gradually and communicate with a partner about comfort.

Thorough cleaning after every use is non-negotiable, especially for anal use or shared use.

Medical silicone (no motor or batteries):
- Boil for 3 to 5 minutes in water, or
- wash with warm water and mild soap and rinse thoroughly.

Borosilicate glass and stainless steel:
- Boil, dishwasher (top rack), or soak for 10 minutes in a 10% bleach solution, then rinse thoroughly.
- Check glass for cracks before and after cleaning.

TPE / dual-density / realistic PVC:
- Not sterilisable. Wash thoroughly with lukewarm water and mild soap.
- Always use a condom when a higher hygiene standard is needed.

General rules:
- Dry completely before storage.
- Store each toy separately in a cloth pouch or individual compartment to prevent surface damage and cross-contamination.
- Use a toy cleaning spray when in doubt. Browse lubricants and cleaning products at Intimico.

The right lubricant protects both you and your dildo.

• Silicone dildo: always use water-based lubricant. Silicone lubricant damages the surface and makes it porous and unhygienic. This is a chemical process that cannot be reversed.
• Glass or steel dildo: any type of lubricant is safe, including silicone. Silicone lubricant lasts longer and feels particularly pleasant on non-porous hard materials.
• TPE / realistic dildo: use water-based; silicone can cause the material to swell or crack.
• Anal use: always use a thicker gel (water-based anal gel or silicone lubricant on glass/steel). The anus produces no natural moisture.
• Sensitive skin: choose lubricant without glycerine, parabens, and fragrance, with a pH of 3.5 to 4.5. The WHO recommends an osmolality of preferably no more than 380 mOsm/kg to prevent mucosal irritation.

Choose a lubricant that suits your material and intended use, and compare the types carefully before buying.

Dildo use is safe when you follow the guidelines above. Keep the following in mind.

Safety points:
- Never use a dildo anally without a flared base (see section 3).
- Stop immediately at sharp or persistent pain; this is not a normal stretching sensation but a warning sign of injury.
- Bleeding that does not stop or involves more than a small spot is a reason to see a doctor.
- With existing conditions such as vaginismus, vulvodynia, endometriosis, or anal fissures: seek medical advice before starting.
- For shared use or switching from vaginal to anal: use a fresh condom or clean the dildo thoroughly.

Body-safe certification: check whether the product is certified phthalate-free and medical-grade. Brands making this claim should back it up with test certificates; avoid products without a material specification.

This is general educational information, not medical advice; for complaints consult a GP, gynaecologist, or sexologist.